Schizophrenia and The Whale

After some thought I have decided that NY actors are ADHD, Schizophrenic, or bipolar (or most likely, just have symptoms). In the last month I have changed my mind just about every day on what I want to do with my life. So let's start with the obvious...Acting. (BTW...after seeing this show tonight I'm feeling all emotional and wise...so buckle in for the ride).

Sometimes you forget when you haven't read a script with other people in over 7 months, that acting is really freakin fun!! I was fortunate enough to do a reading with The Drawing Board. It was incredibly exciting to create a role (especially a comedic one!) And even more thrilling to get to read with other talented people. I won't go into too much detail, but basically it's easy to forget how much you enjoy and love something when you haven't been doing it in so long. Thus I learned that I need to take some classes if I'm not doing anything because I can't go that long again forgetting how great acting is!

Well of course, I tell myself how great acting is, but then a week later with no auditions (because these have been the slowest months ever) I decide I want to be a teacher. Because teachers are important and are the ones who help create and mold powerful actors. Not to mention, I saw one of my old acting teachers today for the first time in years. I was reminded how he and other people always inspired and encouraged me, and I'm so appreciative of them. So now I have been looking into how to get my teaching certificate or my masters for very cheap...but THEN

I go to actorfest. And for the most part I thought it was horrible, BUT I did get a little gem out of it. I went to a commercial workshop, and the casting director spoke about how commercials are all about improv, being a character, and pushing the boundaries, so I decided "Screw it! I need to move to LA and be on tv!"

So I either have a mental disorder, or I'm a young girl in my 20's who just wants to do it all. And you know what's great? That's okay. I don't have to settle down and find that thing I'm going to do for the rest of my life right now. I can be doing lots of different jobs till I find what I want. And it seems like so many people right now are graduating and going "Okay I need a job that pays me 75,000 a year, a house, a spouse, and a retirement plan". And that's great and all, but I'm going to tell you that the adventure, as scary as it is most of the time, can also be entirely fun. So you're a struggling actor...join the other 95% of your friends who are. So you work a part time job...spend that time collecting funny stories. So you can't afford to go out...learn to cook! I guess I just spend a lot of time getting bogged down wanting to plan my future and hear from so many of my friends who are the same way, but it's pretty darn cool that I can do whatever I want right now (as long as I am making enough money to pay rent and student loans). And while I'm on the subject of life...let me tell you about this play that changed my life....

It was the most amazing, powerful, motivational, phenomenal, gut wrenching, moving play I may have ever seen. "The Whale" at Playwrights Horizons was just out of this world. I can't even describe to people how emotionally impacted I was. When I try to it comes out as "and then" "it was just so" "ahh I felt" and "then I just sobbed for an hour". Ultimately it comes down to this: the actors were fabulous, the design elements were spot on, the metaphors, themes, and message were overwhelming, and the playwright has won my heart. It deserves to be on Broadway, though the intimate setting probably made the play. I have seen hundreds of shows in my life I'm sure, and I'm telling you I think this may have been the best one yet. For those of you who are in theatre, just think back to that show that changed your life...and double it. That's this one.

So right now my life is fabulous...but ask me again in an hour. :)

Creative Juices are drying up

If you just moved to NY or are an extreme optimist today, wait to read this post. Because I'm about to get serious about how I'm getting a little fed up...

You know that yearning, that vibe, that pulsation in your heart to do what you love? That need to feel creatively free or the consistent itching to show the world your passion? Well, I think mine has become so unbearable that it is numb. I haven't had an audition in 3 weeks! It's like "wait a minute, thought that's why I came to New York!"

And I know EVERYONE tells you, if you can't find work, create it. Well yes, that sounds like a great idea. Now all I need is a writer, director, space, (don't need to mention actors, there are plenty of those here) and time. If you aren't going to pay anyone for their work, than finding a time when even four people can get together every week when everyone has differing and inconsistent day jobs is nearly impossible because people aren't as committed. And I get it, you gotta have that money job for sure, and don't get me wrong I haven't lost sight of why I'm here and I'm not giving up, I'm just saying...it's freaking hard!

So you can't create it, fine, you can take classes! I would LOVE to take classes. That would be the best way for me to stay in the game and feel like I'm still creating...yeah awesome...oh, I'm sorry, $500 for a 4 week class? Do I stop eating, live on the street, or whore myself out? Oh, I know, I could get another job...that would then interfere with all the class times. Do you see the dilemma?

Alright, so I see shows which are inspirational. I read plays which are enjoyable. I learn monologues (well, okay, that takes a LOT more motivation, but sometimes it happens). However, this isn't always enough. Most of us come from doing theatre all through college, high school, if you are me, since you were 5. And maybe the longest I've gone without taking a class or being in something is, say, a year. Well it's been a year folks, and I'm about to itch my skin off or beg the pants of someone because if I don't do SOMETHING soon, my head is gonna blow off. I don't care what it is---reading, class, showcase, show but it needs to be fulfilling. There is too much crap out there they doesn't really make you feel whole.

So if you made it through the rant, what you can get out of it is this...Acting is freaking hard. It certainly gets annoying and frustrating. I'm feeling like a pessimist.

But on the bright side: Annie kicked some Broadway butt, there are tons of new shows opening, Halloween is almost here, and I'm wearing an argyle sweater today! (Optimism returns!)

I Think I'm Gonna Like it Here

Well it's Fall again in NYC, and you know what that means....there are less tourists!! Also, you would think there would be an influx in auditions, but recently that doesn't look like it's the case. It seems that I've gotten caught up in the world-wind of the city (and life) but I think it's about time to update the internet on theatre stories, blunders, critiques and rules!! 

So I have a confession to make... despite my love of theatre for 17 years now, I had never seen Phantom of the Opera, until 2 nights ago. It's been running for over 25 years and the people in the show could probably play any part (and many of them have). The tourists FLOCK to the Majestic to see the beautiful scenery and gorgeous songs. And I have to admit, I very much enjoyed myself EXCEPT

• The audience. Most actors and theatre goers alike have already seen Phantom, so the entire audience is tourists. So before the performance started over 100 camera flashes went off (no, I'm not exaggerating). Ushers didn't even try to stop them, thus, throughout the performance there were also pictures being taken. Not to mention the same cell phone ring that went off twice and the guy in front of me who liked to lean over and tell his wife every 10 minutes what time it was by making his watch light up. I mean, there were literally audience members hushing other audience members. I'm telling you, we need to start teaching classes in middle school on proper etiquette at shows. Also, who's idea was it to sell food IN the theatre? If I hear one more person digging around in their candy bag for the last peanut M&M, I will scream!
• The Chandelier. The only thing I recollect hearing about Phantom was how cool it is when the chandelier flies over the audience and crashes onto the stage! I was anticipating this epic moment since all the other scenery and magic had been thrilling. At the end of act one, the lamp slowly wiggles its way straight down to land on stage and after a 10 second delay, flash it's lights and go to blackness. I was sure something had gone wrong...it was the most fake crash I had ever seen. I mean, I could tell it didn't break! What a let down... 

Idiot Moment from the Audition Room: I was at an audition a week ago, like any other EPA. Turned in my headshot, wrote down who was in the room (John Martin*) and went to line up. The kind monitor tells us a 2 minute monologue or less, watch your step as you go in the room, the auditioners name is John Martin. So usually when there is one or two people in the room, I try and address them by name, to be more personal. I'm, I believe, the 15th person in the room that day (or there a bouts). I walk in proudly step up smile and say "Good Morning John!" To which he replies "It's Joe, but thank you" I was MORTIFIED. I apologized and told him the monitor must have his name wrong and I would be sure to fix it. Let's just say my ego was a little knocked. Regardless, the audition went fabulous and the guy was so nice and we talked for awhile. When I exited the room, I told the others waiting in line that his name was indeed Joe, not John. I walked up to the monitor table to inform him, and everyone else in the holding room kind of gasped and said "Oh my gosh, did you call him that?!" to which I now proudly responded "Yes, yes I did" I appreciated their sympathy in my embarrassment. You're welcome the rest of the auditionees! The moral of this lesson is: If you think the monitor might have the wrong name for the director, just call him your boyfriends name instead! 

I have MANY more stories, but I think this is enough to wet your pallet. I will leave you with this. Annie opened on Broadway yesterday. My feelings on this I can only describe as wanting to dance Gangnam style in constant repetition while eating chocolate peanut butter happiness while pooping rainbows. I attempted the lottery (and lost even when almost all 20 other people there won). I was pisssedddd. If you win tickets to Annie, your appropriate reaction isn't "that's me", raise your hand, or just walk up to the lotto man. It's "WHOLLY FREAKIN GOSH AHHHHHHHH Me! Me! Me! DSFCGVHBNBVFCDXSDFCV BEST DAY EVERRRRRR!!!" (Note: If this is someones reaction, it's probably me). 

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of this person. 

Judging the Talent!

Well, my week as a casting director’s assistant has come to a close. I have lived how the other half lives!  And oh what a journey! First off let’s just get this out there…we do make fun of you and talk about you if you are weird or crazy (sometimes if you are talented too).  And I’m kinda shocked at how many people are…crazy, that is.

The amount of people that called in to audition and upon arrival said they were not available the day of the shoot, appalled me. It says it RIGHT there in the casting break down!  Let’s learn to read. Also, many actors and parents were very rude to the assistants. We don’t cast you, but we can sure as hell tell the CD that you are a butt. You should have made a different appointment time if you only had 10 minutes to spare. But let’s not get caught up on rude people, they are everywhere. The funny people were the best…

One man called and wanted to audition, but couldn’t come in. He said he had some songs on youtube (they were already established songs he rewrote the lyrics too) but that you could not see his face in the videos. When I asked if he had a headshot or photo he could send us, he responded with “No, but I can email you the username and password to my dating profile so you can see a picture of me”

Yes, we had a field day with that one! He never thought to just copy and paste a picture…the best part is, when we tried to log on, we had the wrong password, so it emailed him a new one…whoops! He also had a hysterical last name, but I fear that may give too much away on a public blog.

Other highlights of the week include “stomping girl” (who literally stomped all the way to the audition room) , a woman who cried when asked to sing happy birthday, a dancer who I like to call “No rhythm spastic napoleon dynamite”, and the stage mom who thought if she danced, her daughter may try and dance with her. We also were in charge of sending out emails. My friend Ashley wrote to one woman and signed the note “Best, Ashley” the following email started with “Hey Audrey!” ahem, the name is written in the email!!!

Needless to say the week was a fun one! I would definitely consider working with a casting director again, but I still think I’d rather be the one auditioning!

Tip of the week: Drink coffee after you arrive at the epa, but before you sign up for your audition time. That way the caffeine kicks in, so when you go into the audition room, the CD thinks you are on drugs J

World Theatre Day!

"Thank you for thinking of me today!"

The above quote was the voice mailbox of a fellow actor. How obnoxious, but also cleverly cute. I encourage all of you to come up with as fun a voice mailbox, because casting directors get your voicemail about 65% of the time when they call you. How do I know this? I'm working with a casting director this week! Getting to see the other side of the theatre world.

It has given me a whole new glimpse into what actors are like. So far I have done a lot of calls and getting actors auditions off email submissions. Favorites so far include:

• One actor listed 4 t.v shows that he has been an audience member at...on his resume! (Hint: if you are in the audience, you're not the actor. Also, it's a game show...so you aren't really acting even if you were a contestant.)
• One woman listed her boob cup size on the resume. That's all I'm gonna say.
• Apparently there is a heading on a resume known as "Memberships"? 
• I received an email from an actor that was 5 paragraphs long listing the exact type of person they were. Glad to know WAY too much about you. We just need the time you would like to audition with an attached headshot and resume. 
• I also received a call from an actor with a list of great credentials. I told him to come in any time today or tomorrow. He responded, "Well I'm a little intoxicated right now"...Wait, but he called me....

No wonder casting directors have such good stories! Loads of crazies! 

Another reason for todays blog post, and perhaps the most important is that it is WORLD THEATRE DAY! What a wonderful day to celebrate. In honor of this day, I am starting a new thing on the blog. What I will dub a "Challenge" The one for this week is----Go see a live show!!! Theatre is only possible with an audience and is really a medium for everyone. And if you are an actor, you should be seeing as much as possible!

For those of you who aren't active theatre fans, but rather just active Lys fans, here is the World Theatre Day 2012 Message from John Malkovich.

"May your work be compelling and original. May it be profound, touching, contemplative, and unique. May it help us to reflect on the question of what it means to be human, and may that reflection be blessed with heart, sincerity, candor, and grace. May you overcome adversity, censorship, poverty and nihilism, as many of you will most certainly be obliged to do. May you be blessed with the talent and rigor to teach us about the beating of the human heart in all its complexity, and the humility and curiosity to make it your life's work. And may the best of you - for it will only be the best of you, and even then only in the rarest and briefest moments - succeed in framing that most basic of questions, "how do we live?" 

Godspeed." 

This is some powerful stuff. Think about it. Many people commit their lives to this wonderful art.

So in conclusion, THEATRE RULES and "Thank you for thinking of me today!" 

Did someone say "FIRE?"

Most of you are thinking...geez never thought she was gonna write another blog post again! WRONG. I've just been so wrapped up in auditions. That's right, January-March is known in the nyc acting world as "wake up at the ass crack of dawn so you can beat the millions of other people that fall out of the sky to the audition, so you can get seen". Equity opens it's doors earlier (7:30am) and the alternate list for equity actors is up to 181 people long (that doesn't even include EMC and non eq). Let's just put it this way, if you want to audition in NY these are the months to come, but don't be surprised if the veterans say "what are all these young college kids doing here?" (Note: this was said to me....suddenly I look older than 21??)

With these crazy busy auditions comes some crazy people. Things I've seen:

• Choirs of people randomly breaking out into hums/notes (we are not mosquitos) 
• A girl putting on mascara by flicking her eye lids at least 30 times with the brush in front of them
• A yellow tinkerbell...or a sexy neon green corset. Was she going for a role or trying to sleep with the Casting Director?
• A vest, literally covered in feathers 
• Posing for yourself in the mirror...guess we really are vain 
•  A person COMPLETELY changing in the middle of the lounge. btw, there are dressing rooms 

I also saw a man who pitched a royal fit when he wasn't allowed to bring his coffee into the lounge..a grown man. Here's some advice, there are hundreds of thousands of actors in NY, if you are going to be a pain, no one will hire you...you are replaceable (sorry Beyonce).

Sometimes being replaceable is a good thing...like if you are part of a really horrible reading that they want to take to showcase...you can drop out! (Not like I'm speaking from personal experience or anything...)

Quick story to leave you with. I was at an audition and found out that people from a theatre I worked with when I was a child were holding auditions upstairs in the same building. I'm not much of a singer anymore, so I didn't want to audition for them, just say hi. I thought it was going to be impossible to just sneak in when they were very busy. I lucked out. There door was open and my old director and producer were there from the production that got me my equity card almost 10 years ago. Not only was I thrilled to see them but it reinvigorated me. I am still living the dream that I've had since I was 5. I'm still doing what I love to do...I'm actually doing it. How many people get to say that? It's giving me the push I need to keep chugging along through the auditions, the classes, and the failures. 

As Aerosmith says "DREAM ON!"

Audience Etiquette

In light of recent events, I'd like to take the time to make a post that is for everyone. It's about theatre audience etiquette. If you haven't heard, at last nights performance of the New York Phillharmonic an audience cell phone went off and the conductor stopped the show. You can read more here http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/11/new-york-philharmonic-interrupted-by-chimes-mahler-never-intended/?ref=music

So if you are planning a visit to NYC or are even just seeing a college or high school production, please follow these rules. Actors, directors, technicians, and other theatre fans alike will greatly appreciate you.

1.) To echo the sentiment above: TURN OFF YOUR DAMN PHONES. No, silent is not the same thing. You can make it an hour and a half till intermission without checking your twitter or text messages. (Trust me, I've done it. And you don't miss out on too much). Why doesn't silent work? It interferes with the sound system. And if it's on silent you can't tell if someone calls anyway unless you take it out with that annoying light. The actors can see the phone lights, you aren't hiding.

2.) If you came with someone, chances are you have planned to see them before or after the show, which means you do not need to lean over and talk to them during it. People are sitting behind you! That also means if you have a mild form of tourettes, try to get a seat in the back because it is hard to pay attention over your convulsing head.

3.) The curtain call is part of the show. Intermission happens when the lights come up. Unless you have an urgent appointment you absolutely cannot miss, be courteous to the people who poured their hearts out for you. Give them a clap.

4.) Piggy backing on 3, don't EVER leave in the middle of a show because you "are tired". You paid for a ticket! Take a nap before you go, drink a redbull, or continually pinch yourself, but don't leave! You wouldn't leave in the middle of a lecture, a business meeting, or a teacher conference would you? If you can sit through a movie, you can sit through live theatre.

5.) This is a strange, but annoying one. Don't complain about the ladies long restroom line. Face it, it's always going to be long and upsetting because the men never have one. But I counted last time I was waiting (for about 7 minutes) and 15 people walked by saying "Oh my, this line is so long, hope we don't miss the show!" Get there earlier and shut up. Prepare yourself for the line, we all already know it's long.

6.) Be active. Theatre only exists because of you. Sit up, listen. Laugh if it is funny or cry if it is sad. As an actor, you can feel the energy of the audience and it absolutely affects you and the performance.

7.) Finally, the people around you don't want to hear your opinions (unless asked), they have their own.

What's sad about these rules is they seem like common sense, and while many people follow them, I have witnessed all 7 of these things in the last 2 shows I've gone to!

I leave you with something completely unrelated...
My Audition Definition: "I perform 2 minute plays in rep"