Judging the Talent!

Well, my week as a casting director’s assistant has come to a close. I have lived how the other half lives!  And oh what a journey! First off let’s just get this out there…we do make fun of you and talk about you if you are weird or crazy (sometimes if you are talented too).  And I’m kinda shocked at how many people are…crazy, that is.

The amount of people that called in to audition and upon arrival said they were not available the day of the shoot, appalled me. It says it RIGHT there in the casting break down!  Let’s learn to read. Also, many actors and parents were very rude to the assistants. We don’t cast you, but we can sure as hell tell the CD that you are a butt. You should have made a different appointment time if you only had 10 minutes to spare. But let’s not get caught up on rude people, they are everywhere. The funny people were the best…

One man called and wanted to audition, but couldn’t come in. He said he had some songs on youtube (they were already established songs he rewrote the lyrics too) but that you could not see his face in the videos. When I asked if he had a headshot or photo he could send us, he responded with “No, but I can email you the username and password to my dating profile so you can see a picture of me”

Yes, we had a field day with that one! He never thought to just copy and paste a picture…the best part is, when we tried to log on, we had the wrong password, so it emailed him a new one…whoops! He also had a hysterical last name, but I fear that may give too much away on a public blog.

Other highlights of the week include “stomping girl” (who literally stomped all the way to the audition room) , a woman who cried when asked to sing happy birthday, a dancer who I like to call “No rhythm spastic napoleon dynamite”, and the stage mom who thought if she danced, her daughter may try and dance with her. We also were in charge of sending out emails. My friend Ashley wrote to one woman and signed the note “Best, Ashley” the following email started with “Hey Audrey!” ahem, the name is written in the email!!!

Needless to say the week was a fun one! I would definitely consider working with a casting director again, but I still think I’d rather be the one auditioning!

Tip of the week: Drink coffee after you arrive at the epa, but before you sign up for your audition time. That way the caffeine kicks in, so when you go into the audition room, the CD thinks you are on drugs J

World Theatre Day!

"Thank you for thinking of me today!"

The above quote was the voice mailbox of a fellow actor. How obnoxious, but also cleverly cute. I encourage all of you to come up with as fun a voice mailbox, because casting directors get your voicemail about 65% of the time when they call you. How do I know this? I'm working with a casting director this week! Getting to see the other side of the theatre world.

It has given me a whole new glimpse into what actors are like. So far I have done a lot of calls and getting actors auditions off email submissions. Favorites so far include:

• One actor listed 4 t.v shows that he has been an audience member at...on his resume! (Hint: if you are in the audience, you're not the actor. Also, it's a game show...so you aren't really acting even if you were a contestant.)
• One woman listed her boob cup size on the resume. That's all I'm gonna say.
• Apparently there is a heading on a resume known as "Memberships"? 
• I received an email from an actor that was 5 paragraphs long listing the exact type of person they were. Glad to know WAY too much about you. We just need the time you would like to audition with an attached headshot and resume. 
• I also received a call from an actor with a list of great credentials. I told him to come in any time today or tomorrow. He responded, "Well I'm a little intoxicated right now"...Wait, but he called me....

No wonder casting directors have such good stories! Loads of crazies! 

Another reason for todays blog post, and perhaps the most important is that it is WORLD THEATRE DAY! What a wonderful day to celebrate. In honor of this day, I am starting a new thing on the blog. What I will dub a "Challenge" The one for this week is----Go see a live show!!! Theatre is only possible with an audience and is really a medium for everyone. And if you are an actor, you should be seeing as much as possible!

For those of you who aren't active theatre fans, but rather just active Lys fans, here is the World Theatre Day 2012 Message from John Malkovich.

"May your work be compelling and original. May it be profound, touching, contemplative, and unique. May it help us to reflect on the question of what it means to be human, and may that reflection be blessed with heart, sincerity, candor, and grace. May you overcome adversity, censorship, poverty and nihilism, as many of you will most certainly be obliged to do. May you be blessed with the talent and rigor to teach us about the beating of the human heart in all its complexity, and the humility and curiosity to make it your life's work. And may the best of you - for it will only be the best of you, and even then only in the rarest and briefest moments - succeed in framing that most basic of questions, "how do we live?" 

Godspeed." 

This is some powerful stuff. Think about it. Many people commit their lives to this wonderful art.

So in conclusion, THEATRE RULES and "Thank you for thinking of me today!" 

Did someone say "FIRE?"

Most of you are thinking...geez never thought she was gonna write another blog post again! WRONG. I've just been so wrapped up in auditions. That's right, January-March is known in the nyc acting world as "wake up at the ass crack of dawn so you can beat the millions of other people that fall out of the sky to the audition, so you can get seen". Equity opens it's doors earlier (7:30am) and the alternate list for equity actors is up to 181 people long (that doesn't even include EMC and non eq). Let's just put it this way, if you want to audition in NY these are the months to come, but don't be surprised if the veterans say "what are all these young college kids doing here?" (Note: this was said to me....suddenly I look older than 21??)

With these crazy busy auditions comes some crazy people. Things I've seen:

• Choirs of people randomly breaking out into hums/notes (we are not mosquitos) 
• A girl putting on mascara by flicking her eye lids at least 30 times with the brush in front of them
• A yellow tinkerbell...or a sexy neon green corset. Was she going for a role or trying to sleep with the Casting Director?
• A vest, literally covered in feathers 
• Posing for yourself in the mirror...guess we really are vain 
•  A person COMPLETELY changing in the middle of the lounge. btw, there are dressing rooms 

I also saw a man who pitched a royal fit when he wasn't allowed to bring his coffee into the lounge..a grown man. Here's some advice, there are hundreds of thousands of actors in NY, if you are going to be a pain, no one will hire you...you are replaceable (sorry Beyonce).

Sometimes being replaceable is a good thing...like if you are part of a really horrible reading that they want to take to showcase...you can drop out! (Not like I'm speaking from personal experience or anything...)

Quick story to leave you with. I was at an audition and found out that people from a theatre I worked with when I was a child were holding auditions upstairs in the same building. I'm not much of a singer anymore, so I didn't want to audition for them, just say hi. I thought it was going to be impossible to just sneak in when they were very busy. I lucked out. There door was open and my old director and producer were there from the production that got me my equity card almost 10 years ago. Not only was I thrilled to see them but it reinvigorated me. I am still living the dream that I've had since I was 5. I'm still doing what I love to do...I'm actually doing it. How many people get to say that? It's giving me the push I need to keep chugging along through the auditions, the classes, and the failures. 

As Aerosmith says "DREAM ON!"