I Think I'm Gonna Like it Here

Well it's Fall again in NYC, and you know what that means....there are less tourists!! Also, you would think there would be an influx in auditions, but recently that doesn't look like it's the case. It seems that I've gotten caught up in the world-wind of the city (and life) but I think it's about time to update the internet on theatre stories, blunders, critiques and rules!! 

So I have a confession to make... despite my love of theatre for 17 years now, I had never seen Phantom of the Opera, until 2 nights ago. It's been running for over 25 years and the people in the show could probably play any part (and many of them have). The tourists FLOCK to the Majestic to see the beautiful scenery and gorgeous songs. And I have to admit, I very much enjoyed myself EXCEPT

• The audience. Most actors and theatre goers alike have already seen Phantom, so the entire audience is tourists. So before the performance started over 100 camera flashes went off (no, I'm not exaggerating). Ushers didn't even try to stop them, thus, throughout the performance there were also pictures being taken. Not to mention the same cell phone ring that went off twice and the guy in front of me who liked to lean over and tell his wife every 10 minutes what time it was by making his watch light up. I mean, there were literally audience members hushing other audience members. I'm telling you, we need to start teaching classes in middle school on proper etiquette at shows. Also, who's idea was it to sell food IN the theatre? If I hear one more person digging around in their candy bag for the last peanut M&M, I will scream!
• The Chandelier. The only thing I recollect hearing about Phantom was how cool it is when the chandelier flies over the audience and crashes onto the stage! I was anticipating this epic moment since all the other scenery and magic had been thrilling. At the end of act one, the lamp slowly wiggles its way straight down to land on stage and after a 10 second delay, flash it's lights and go to blackness. I was sure something had gone wrong...it was the most fake crash I had ever seen. I mean, I could tell it didn't break! What a let down... 

Idiot Moment from the Audition Room: I was at an audition a week ago, like any other EPA. Turned in my headshot, wrote down who was in the room (John Martin*) and went to line up. The kind monitor tells us a 2 minute monologue or less, watch your step as you go in the room, the auditioners name is John Martin. So usually when there is one or two people in the room, I try and address them by name, to be more personal. I'm, I believe, the 15th person in the room that day (or there a bouts). I walk in proudly step up smile and say "Good Morning John!" To which he replies "It's Joe, but thank you" I was MORTIFIED. I apologized and told him the monitor must have his name wrong and I would be sure to fix it. Let's just say my ego was a little knocked. Regardless, the audition went fabulous and the guy was so nice and we talked for awhile. When I exited the room, I told the others waiting in line that his name was indeed Joe, not John. I walked up to the monitor table to inform him, and everyone else in the holding room kind of gasped and said "Oh my gosh, did you call him that?!" to which I now proudly responded "Yes, yes I did" I appreciated their sympathy in my embarrassment. You're welcome the rest of the auditionees! The moral of this lesson is: If you think the monitor might have the wrong name for the director, just call him your boyfriends name instead! 

I have MANY more stories, but I think this is enough to wet your pallet. I will leave you with this. Annie opened on Broadway yesterday. My feelings on this I can only describe as wanting to dance Gangnam style in constant repetition while eating chocolate peanut butter happiness while pooping rainbows. I attempted the lottery (and lost even when almost all 20 other people there won). I was pisssedddd. If you win tickets to Annie, your appropriate reaction isn't "that's me", raise your hand, or just walk up to the lotto man. It's "WHOLLY FREAKIN GOSH AHHHHHHHH Me! Me! Me! DSFCGVHBNBVFCDXSDFCV BEST DAY EVERRRRRR!!!" (Note: If this is someones reaction, it's probably me). 

*Name has been changed to protect the identity of this person.